How to get engaged like a total dork

Find a compatible dork. Earn their trust, and some degree of admiration, through a protracted series of jointly dorkish activities. This may include, but is not limited to, aerodynamically unsuccessful ornithopter projects, financially questionable food service business ventures, or opening a tax agency for children (more about that another time). Mutually cooperative feelings can be enhanced with the addition of gifts, such as a window-based depository for seeds and small airborne fauna.

Make a thoughtful and engaging first anniversary gift that is slightly too thoughtful and engaging, dooming you to a multi-year loop of ideation and scope creep while you search for an idea that could be even more thoughtful and engaging (literally). These scratch-built beepers were hid as part of an extended scavenger hunt, and each held a few notes of a song both dorks found to be appealing. When chained together at the end of said scavenger hunt, they provided a playful albeit crusty rendition of the aforementioned tune. The scavenger hunt and beep listening experience was found to be mutually agreeable by both parties.

Open a top secret github repository, ideally named something confusing. Mark it public, then do a very bad job of hiding it while you work on it intermittently over the course of four or more years. The best secrecy is total confusion, so like a amnesic squirrel digging random holes, create a second github repository with other parts of the project to throw the target off your scent.
Build a scavenger hunt device with a built-in GPS, ePaper screen, SD card-based swappable game cartridge, and a secret compartment. Make the whole thing fit into a mints tin for maximum stealth factor.

Gotta put some treasure inside the secret compartment! It was surprisingly easy to get bird shapes laser cut from thin stainless steel by an overseas fab shop, and braze on some sterling silver earring posts.

Chain together a series of clues based on text hints, cartoon visual clues, distance to target, and other dynamically rendered directions and program them in a custom scavenger hunt markdown language on the SD card on aforementioned scavenger hunt device.

Gather together some of your best friends for a full day scavenger hunt involving a former farmers’ market stand location, a stressed out tech bro at a cafe, public transit, friendly bookstore staff who agree to hide a hint in a 80 year old hardcover Jane Austen novel, a digital pirate, a fake frat bro in a fountain, and some friendly rock climbers who mischevously hid a clue at the top of a V6.

I am happy to report that the compatible dork was delighted by the scavenger hunt device and associated activities, and has agreed to an ongoing partnership. In light of my success, if you or a loved one would like to replicate this project, the design and source code are and freely available for use, in part or in full. Best of luck in your own adventures with a valuable human! I’m very excited for more adventures with mine 🙂